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April 2011
April 26, 2011
April 25, 2011
Easter, 2011
Easter Eve, I colored eggs.
Used Glue Dots and glitter for polka dots.
Used a glue pen and glitter for names.
The Bartolo's put names on their eggs, too!
I made the ham and frijoles. Michelle made corn. Billie made potatoes and green beans.
Mary made carrot cake!
Katie and I made mustache's on a stick. Sammie helped Katie.
April 15, 2011
Money Matters
From Caring.com
Hello, everyone. Hope your holidays are blessed -- not stressed! I have just done something that has filled me with guilt: I asked my brother to contribute towards my mom's care. Mom has Alzheimer's and lives with me 24/7. She sold her house but we used that money to pay for in-home companion care -- until her long-term health insurance kicked in. Even with that, and her social security check -- it's tough to make ends meet. To make matters worse, my daughter just finished college and now her school loans are due. My brother lives in Alaska -- I'm in NJ. He calls mom every week or two, but doesn't ever visit.
I have taken no time away from my mom since she moved in - more than a year ago. I am emotionally exhausted, and the financial worries only add to the stress.
Yes - mom has insurance and social security -- but it still costs a lot to take care of her. I will keep her at home as long as possible -- and when that's no longer safe, I'll try to get her into assisted living. At that point, I won't worry about money, because it's covered by her insurance. It's just this in-between time. My brother sounded exasperated. He's got kids in college, too - and he figured mom's situation was all paid for by her insurance,social security. He said he'd do what he could -- I did NOT name a figure -- but I feel terribly guilty about asking him for money. I have been paying a lot towards keeping my daughter in college -- and I could cut back on that. But I don't want to renege on my promise to her, either. Did I do the wrong thing in asking my brother to contribute towards mom's upkeep?
PLEASE let me know ASAP. I don't want to antagonize him - or have him demand a monthly accounting of mom's finances, etc etc. That'd just make more work for me.
Thanks and happy holidays. Memere's Daughter
You did NOT do wrong by asking for your brothers help. by the way, I totally fail to understand why NOBODY has replied before this. that isn't very nice. anyway, NO, you did NOTHING wrong.
BUT, don't expect any help. in the real world, people often if not always care ONLY about themselves. obviously, there are exceptions. like you for one example :)
I truly wish you all the luck possible with this. but I'm afraid some people just can't be bothered. my sister retired 2 days ago from a govt. job, with full pension. plus, she paid in to have her time in the military count as 20 years (not sure how that works..another scam) so, there's TWO retirements. and she is staying on in her old job as a temp for $35.00 per hour. I don't get a wooden nickel from anyone for taking care of my Mom. not a penny.
Nice world we live in eh?
A WAKE-UP CALL TO FAMILY MEMBERS... For some reason, agreement regarding the financial compensation for care of a family member is typically so much more straight forward when the caregiver is not a member of the family. This applies even to the person receiving the care. All of a sudden, the $10 or $15 per hour that is seen as fair compensation for outside care seems extravagant for a daughter, son or other relative who is usually giving a much higher quality of care...plus love. It is that higher level of care and the emotions that are invested to give that care which are so easily overlooked and taken for granted. Just because a family member decides that they would like to be the one to give the care does not mean they do not deserve, at the very least, the financial compensation that would be unthinkable to withhold from an employed caregiver. Even if the money is not needed, it is about gratitude, respect and acknowledgment of the sacrifices and loving care being given that money can't buy.
Replied 2 days ago
Another avenue to alert siblings of the cost caring for your Mom is to put pen to paper. I created a spreadsheet and list monthly expenses to include clothing, transportation, food and add the time I have invested as well. Then send a doctor's report on her visits along with the spreadsheet monthly or quarterly to your siblings letting them know your investment in her care. They have no earthly idea how much it costs to support a human being that cannot care for themselves. Seeing it in writing makes it a reality. Attend some support groups and don't be afraid to ask for help. These groups have so many resources that can alleviate some of your stress. Seems strangers are more willing to give you the support you need than our own families are.
Replied 2 days ago
By all means, find a support group! You would be amazed at the information AND help you will get! My husband has advanced Alzheimers, and is currently in a nursing home, but I cared for him until 3 months ago, when I physically could not do it any longer. I asked his sons if they could help financially, NO WAY! One son has never even called to see how his dad is doing, the other son calls about once a month, but the DIL told me "Well, you know they haven't been close for a long time." Both sons live on the East coast and we are midwesterners. It's a sad world we live in, families just plain don't care! As long as it doesn't cost them anything, they are loving & caring, but the moment sickness comes along, or financial burdens, they can't (won't) help! The Alzheimers Association can guide you to the right resources! Good Luck and hang in there, God gives us caregivers special blessings!
And I say, every little thing helps. Even a Cricut Cartridge every once in a while! <wink>
